What is love?  Where is God?  The body is a temple. I believe when we clean and green what we put into our bodies, we gain spiritual benefits which change our scope and capacity for love, empathy, being fully present, better able to take responsibility and grow boundless kindness.

Conversely, when we over pollute our bodies, with alcohol, sugars, processed foods, animal fats, we are completely disrespecting ourselves.  How can we come from a place of peace and be empowered to help others when we are not yet willing to put kindness first with ourselves?  When we disempower ourselves from the responsibility we all have to nurture and maintain our own health and happiness, how are we then able to truly give to another being in a balanced holistic way?

While sex is utilized for procreation, it can also bring us closer or, if used incorrectly, alienate us, use us up and make us feel disrespected.  Used to bring a couple together, it strengthens the bond, uplifts both parties and makes both feel wanted, needed, adored.  There are people who are confused about who they love, who they want or that they want to go orgy style and mix it up.  You can call that hedonism but you cannot really call that love.  Love needs nurturing and attention and to be made special.  When you are with different people with no faithfulness held you cannot be loving and nurturing, you are hedonistic, just out for yourself.  But being hedonistic also disempowers you along the way.  In sex, there is a spiritual oneness. And this is where God comes in.  Don’t believe in God?  Have no spiritual affinity whatsoever?  Perhaps you are on the wrong blog, but stay with me a moment.  What about the order in the chaos when you look at how this world works?  I am not talking about what men have done to the planet, but actually how the world works, how the animals, the fish, the seas, the seasons, how everything beautifully ties together.  How could all this become, with such diversity, majesty and beauty out of complete and utter chaos?  I believe that it couldn’t any other way but to have been created by someone who wanted to make all this happen.  Love is many nuances, vibe and responsibility.  Responsibility is feeding the cat because he’s hungry and I do love him but I may not really feel like getting up and opening a tin for him.  I do it for love.  I clean the house, wash the dog, fix dinner, earn a living, all for love.  I stay faithful to my husband because I love him and not for any other reason.

Love is many nuances, vibe and responsibility.  Responsibility is feeding the cat because he’s hungry and I do love him but I may not really feel like getting up and opening a tin for him.  I do it for love.  I clean the house, wash the dog, fix dinner, earn a living, all for love.  I stay faithful to my husband because I love him and not for any other reason.

Straying is the highest of insults anyone could ever do to another. The second highest is lying about it.  Some people say they are in an open relationship etc, but the fact is when someone won’t be faithful to you, it really means they don’t care enough about you, they are merely using you for their own gain.  Plain, simple.  They don’t have enough of a jot of care about you that extends beyond themselves and their own needs.  It’s a disorder, an emotional imbalance, a lack of control due to failure to exercise power over one’s own faculties.    There are always excuses.  And that dovetails into respect.  If you don’t respect yourself, who will?  Someone may, but it really begins with you.  If you are in a situation which is usury, just sex,  not truly love, not balanced, not working, then get out of it.  There will always be complications.  Usually when I hear ‘ Well, there are complications’ it means money or lack of self-respect.  Someone is staying for the monetary support or someone is a doormat.  Neither are truly good and loving reasons to remain in something that is a failure.

Sometimes life takes us in weird directions, places we thought we’d never go and robs us of peace.  When you think about your partner, does he or she bring you closer or farther away from peace?  We are all imperfect beings.  We are here, primarily to learn how to responsibly, truly and more perfectly love each other.  This is not easy, but it absolutely is doable.

And if you are single and searching, take your time.  There is no need to rush into the unknown before at least some modicum of time has been spent so that you have a better idea of what you are getting into.

We are responsible for our own life and are also our brothers keeper, whether we like the idea of that or not. Clint Eastwood said ‘A man has got to know his limitations’ and I adore that line.  We need to understand ourselves enough to have a full grasp of our limitations so that we minimize causing upset in others lives due to our intentions being less than honest, less than pure.  When we know ourselves, we can speak our truth, whatever that is.  Truth changes just as our limitations do, provided we do our own self-work and grow, keep moving forward as we age rather than degenerate into toddlers.    We are always moving, therefore, we are always, each day, going the one way or the other.  Which way do you want to go?  Which way brings you closer to peace and causes least harm?

Whatever you have done and wherever you have failed, know that we all fail to some degree and that each day brings with it an opportunity to go and do better.  Be blessed with actions that

Be blessed with actions that honor your temple today.

Check out this book to help you on your journey: My Body Is A Temple by Christina Sell

In one of the final lectures at Hippocrates, we discussed the Tipping Point (http://thetippingpointnetwork.com/) where awareness is created, in this case, about GMOs and Organics, allowing consumers the opportunity to learn the dangers. Jeffrey Smith lead the lecture.  He also has an engaging movie out, Genetic Roulette, very worth watching and sharing.

When a mother is concerned about what she is feeding her child, when there are health concerns or there are folks who simply want to know what is in their food and make better choices, that becomes the tipping point, where the game changes; The Tipping Point is created when more of us realize there are serious problems with our food and we begin asking questions and boycotting the food with bad or questionable ingredients. In short, we vote with our dollars. When enough of us do this, in mass, we create global change. Already there are many companies that have now pulled ingredients containing Genetically Modified Organisms out of their product. Companies like Nestle, Cheerios, Ben & Jerry’s. The reasons are not always altruistic. While a wise corporation at the very least pretends to care about its’ consumers, the one thing all of them, without exception care about, is profits. When we band together for change, when we vote with our wallet, our voice overshadows everything else.

Stress – While it cannot be avoided, please do all that you can to minimise it in your life. I am learning how stress literally kills right now. Sometimes we encounter people who really need to step out of their own way, they confuse the issues, make resolution harder than it has to be, perhaps they’re not always mindful before acting, speaking or typing. Maybe sometimes that is us, because sometimes, we all just lose it. These are all self-sabotaging behaviours, which typically manifest during stress. I cannot over-emphasise yoga for stress management. Even going once a week will provide you great benefits over time. You will learn breathwork, breathing techniques that increase lung capacity but also will aid as a cue for you when needed. You will also learn amazing self-control! My PM work was very enjoyable for me, overall. But, there were times when the typical length of the day was too much or a person or situation was. Let calm rule you. It’s perfectly ok to step inside and shut the door of a break-out room and primal scream if you must. I needed to do this just the once in 26 years there, and over a completely unrealistic situation I had been placed in, that I could not get myself out of. But I never lost my cool in front of the group. To share this story a bit further, in case is resonates with and helps you, I had been placed on a new team of people who, while I had been there, fully vetted and known to be an excellent PM, these particular people never had worked with me before. The work-load, and the folks on this project made the situation untenable. There were layoffs and stress was exceedingly high. I resolved to be kind. It was all that I could do. When insults flew, I was kind. Someone actually asked if I was stupid. In meetings with the folks I supported, they would ask me to provide status to the team, then immediately proceed to talk over me. Team-mates I worked directly with on this project from hell, came in unshowered; there was no time for cleanliness. Some folks did not keep working as hard on their personal time as I did and were let go; it was considered their fault. It was never that there was far too much work on everyone’s plate. People in the situation causing unnecessary chaos weren’t managed down. A team-mate lost 4 of their molars, due to stress, grinding the teeth. Molars are forever gone once gone. There were divorces born of this time and illness. My mother was going through Chemo and Radiation. I could not be there for her during the daily commutes to radiation so I found rides for her to treatment by way of the Cancer Society volunteers. And I worked 7 days a week, all holidays and 12+ hour days for over a year being kind. It was bloody hard being kind, but I maintained kindness in every email, every sentence out of my mouth. This act was the only one, other than of course getting my work done, that I had any control over. I had no control over how others chose to think, feel or act toward me, but I did have control over myself and how I visibly reacted to it, as well as pursuant actions.

The Kindness Effort – In an effort to help spread kindness and minimise the onslaught of completely unnecessary emails (I was getting 400-800 a day) I placed the query: Is it helpful, is it necessary, is it kind into my signature line. In an effort to manage down my hours, I also noted my hours too (7a-4p). These things did not always sink in with others, but it did help me focus on what was fair and what I could perhaps let go of.  In all my years there, I had never taken 2 weeks off together at once before, but I was breaking apart and knew I needed to go on holiday. An individual who was hostile, took over my base while I went out for 1 full week of training followed directly by 2 weeks of vacation. I was hoping for a friendly to take on my base but hostile spoke right up demanding my base. I didn’t know what was going to hit me when I returned, but I had to have the break. This was in 2007 and I was laid off in 2016. This was the epicentre of unbearable pain, unbearable odds. When I returned to work, there was a new level of respect given, eyes opened to exactly what was going on in my base, with my portion of this project our team had taken on. Every product was ordered correctly. Every communication accurate and current. My work was found to be flawless and on track. I assumed I would be laid off, but suddenly things got immensely better for me.

This too shall pass – I assumed I would be laid off, but suddenly things got immensely better for me.  Whether it is work, family or personality driven, all of us experience stressful times. Know that if managed correctly, these times should be temporary. IF they are longer in term, there is a management issue somewhere. My takeaway from this time of fire is twofold: 1) always act in kindness, never lose your cool in front of people. Right or wrong, folks will always remember your wig out if you have a double geared hissy fit in front of them. You don’t want that visual following you around later. You also don’t want to be known as cruel, snarky, or unstable, no matter how much you feel justified at that moment in time, so be kind. This doesn’t mean you don’t protect yourself and stand up for yourself, where you can, but do so in a way that is ‘professional’ and offered in kindness. 2) Document Everything – I have been a documentation specialist for decades now, but this situation really brought home the need for managing by fact not emotion and retaining a documentation trail on everything. At the end of the day, it will be kindness, composure and a level head, followed by all the backup docs you’ve culled, that wins the day.  And It will ultimately shine the light of truth on anyone intentionally doing you harm.  As it turned out, I lasted longer and stronger and was able to get out and off that project and team simply because my work took center stage and my kindness became part of that great reputation.

Check out this book, Dare To Be Kind by Lizzie Velasquez.  You may have seen her on Youtube as the worlds ugliest woman.  Rather than let it cripple her, she took charge and became a motivational speaker. Sometimes we all need a push to go from zero to hero, but that push always starts with us.

Yours in kindness.  😉

This book, Meditations on Intention and Being, by Rolf Gates, is a great book to help bring peace, thought and mindfulness to your daily life.

Imbalance – Our world is in chaos, from air, water and soil pollution, the growing need for more, from money to things,  to how governments protect corporate interests rather than the people who created it (and allow it to still be).  We give up our power, become complacent in what is rather than what should be, what can be.

A great example of on this topic was our 2016  election, I watched, mouth agape, as people voted out of fear rather than voting for who they really wanted in office.  I heard things like “Jill Stein will never win” for example.   I know this election was a hot mess and I wanted Jill personally because she didn’t have a bunch of weeds she was coming in with, and her platform was about what, to my mind, matters the most; our earth, saving it, getting corporations out of bed with Government, being  kind, ethical and fair to all people and animals.   But I am not here to argue party, I am here to make a comment on what I witnessed.   I heard this comment made from several people I knew that really wanted Stein in office.  So why didn’t they vote for her then?  Because she wouldn’t win was the answer back to my question.

I have been called pompous, naïve and stupid over this but I am going to say this once more:  When we make a choice NOT to do something, NOT to vote where our heart is on anything that really matters to us, we are NOT doing right by ourselves and further we, by that act, that inaction, make it so!

Politics aside, apply what I just said to anything you choose.  It can be going vegan or eating less meat, working out more etc.  It can be about anything you really want badly that somehow, you feel you don’t deserve enough. We over think things and lose it in the process.  We have got to make the choice to make it so.  To effect change, we must choose it.    From the top down, we are no longer balanced.

The good news is that we can still shape ourselves and our family and friends by what we choose to model, how we choose to live each and every day.   Many of us do not fully grasp our imbalances until injury occurs.  Yoga is fabulous for helping to awaken mindfulness to the imbalances all of us have, finding what side of our body (and brain) are dominate, adjusting ourselves so that we don’t grasp the hands or cross the legs exactly the same each time or to simply be aware that in the similarity of a pose, each day we are different in it.

Yoga is not just for stick figures or the super flexible, my friends, I am a robust individual and do yoga regularly.  Whatever your size or shape, yoga unequivocally is for you.  You just need to find the right form, and always honor your body.  Growing up, I learned to fight with my body rather than embrace it, which is silly when you think about it, but that is what most of us do.  We are never happy and thankful for long with what our shape is or age is or anything, always picking at the imperfection.  Give yourself love and compassion and space and time to heal.  Do this for you because you matter.  When you come from a place of strength, you can share that strength with others and help life them up too.

The holidays (holy days) are divine markers of time, place holders for not only what they represent, but to allow a moment of pause in our earthly pursuits.  Each holiday pushes us toward a new year as the old one is closing out and the New Year is unfolding before us.  Not everybody is excited about this.  But I ask, what really are the alternatives?  I must age, therefore, I celebrate my birthdays!  Why the hell not?  Does it not beat the alternative of 6 feet under?  Celebrate your life and time here.  Enjoy these small moments of time and joy, whether that is a page of meditation on the book suggested above, sitting by the fire on a cool evening with friends or hanging out with your cat.  You being here right now is a miracle.

Be Blessed.

A friend of mine is a Project Manager.  Her husband is far less organised. Things have sat in boxes, in the way of traffic and in the way of beautifying her home, for decades. There have been numerous promises to follow through.  When we fail to follow through, we disrespect both ourselves and the person we made the goal with.  When everything boils down, time is the ultimate gift we give both ourselves and those we love.  We spend our time and our money on who and what we love.

Life moves swiftly onward and as most of us are used to creating busy work in our days and planning ahead, it can be easy to lose the moment.  It can also be all too easy to fill ourselves up so much with stuff, with the dust of the day, that we have no time to breath or change direction, or see a friend.

Creating To Do lists are one of my favourite things to do!  Firstly, it solidifies plans.  You can delight and feel great about checking things off as done.  it keeps you on track, from writing a letter to a friend, to having lunch to joining a meeting, it’s all there.  But another cool thing about lists is that they reach another area of the brain and help make it so.  I created a to-do list for a lovely needy historic home and then that list got filed away.  A decade later, I came upon it once more and delighted in the fact that every single item on that list, from redoing the hardwoods to remodelling the bathroom, to landscape lighting got taken care of.

Following through is the ultimate act of love.  When you can trust your own words, that means a whole lot because you can then trust yourself.  Giving yourself weight, respect and significance of meaning what you say and saying what you mean is the very essence of love and self-respect.

Call it branding. In fact, there is a great article “Brand You” that I read a long time ago on this very topic.  As we go about living life, we are actually creating our brand.  Who and what do you stand for?  When people think of you, what would be the very first things to come to mind?  Honouring yourself begins with following through on commitments, both to yourself and to others.  This can also include following through in abusive situations, with managing your personal boundaries. We teach people daily how we wish to be treated by how and what we allow into our lives and by the boundaries we set with them.  We are empowered to gently but firmly maintain those boundaries from anyone who disrespects them and us.  If you find yourself in a situation where you have failed to follow through on your best life then know that you are empowered to change this now.

With 2017 looming large, get pen and pad out and start planning your follow through today.

Whenever you decide to make changes in your life, particularly big ones, you are going to face some opposition, both inside yourself as well as some conflict around you, even from well-meaning friends and loved ones.  The thing to understand is that most of what we do every day, is done out of habit, out of the existing neuronets our brain has created as a way to simplify our day to day.  When you change those habits, whether it is quitting smoking, walking daily, or drinking less coffee or wine, your brain is really there for you, but the hurdle is going to be the 21 days you must suffer through as your brain remaps itself to your new way of thinking and being.  Whenever you are doing something good and wholesome for yourself, you are on the right track because that goodness comes from a place of respect for who you are inside.  You are showing that you respect and value you. You cannot truly value and respect anybody else until you begin with you.  Start your journey and be transformed.

Dreams get squished in the most amazing ways if we are not careful.  In school, I was a gymnast and ran track.  I ran faster than anybody in my school in any grade.  Every year I won the Presidents Physical Fitness award and in my 20’s I ran 5 or so miles daily at the nice UTD track in Richardson. After repeated comments on the track about my ‘great pace’ I was clocked doing 4 minute miles.  I did not realize until in my 50’s, in sharing memories with  a friend who absolutely refused to believe my 4 minute mile story, stating that it just was not possible, that it was actually something perhaps rare and special.

My family never made any big deal out of my physical abilities.  Instead, my mother took me along with her to fat spas to help me lose weight that I didn’t have to lose at the time.  Where is she now when I need this?   In grade school a teacher talked to my adopted mother about putting me in a special music program because of my voice.  Mother asked me to sing for her and when I did, she smiled and explained that while my song was pretty, there would always be someone better.   No matter how I did in anything, there was always someone better. Thusly, I have spent my life downplaying how good I might be at my job or anything else and always questioning my validity.  I learned after meeting my birth family, several years ago, that music runs in the blood,  as does athleticism, with most of the men being fire chiefs and my aunt being a professional singer.  Try hard not to get your dreams squished. Even if you never find out why, trust that they are there for reasons that you need to pursue.

Recently, on nextdoor.com, in trying, for free mind you, to assist my lovely neighbors by providing some groovy health tips, I was hit with such negativity and actual slander from strangers, that it astounded me.

The primary abuse came from an alleged personal trainer.  I say alleged as one would assume a personal trainer worth the salt in his sweat would require a modicum of training, certainly enough to have grasped at least 85% of what I was saying, such as how sugar and sodas and too much protein can put your body into glycation and age you.

It did not matter where I studied, I was crap because my ‘product’ that I was selling was my body of knowledge.  And I wasn’t selling anything at all, I was providing what I felt to be useful or interesting information for free, stuff that I had either just learned or had reconfirmed for me in a recent seminar and I was excited to share it out.

Where did all that anger, miss-direction and fear of what they didn’t know come from?  Kind words were twisted and people who didn’t bother to visit my link and read about my experience slammed me.  I had no training, I was not accredited, I was stupid, white trash and practising witch-craft, oh and the product I am selling is crap.

I have deactivated my Nextdoor.com account, but the reason I bring the story up is that sometimes, we live in discord when peace will give us extended (and a far better quality) life.  And, as we see here in the situation noted above, even when we are actively embracing living in peace, things happen that catch us unawares.

Sometimes we are bursting with energy and a great thought, truth or topic we wish to share and it hurts a lot when our spirit of joy is squashed down.  It can be quite shocking how badly a great message can end up received and many times through no fault of your own, with the words chosen with care, a smile in your heart and a twinkle in your eye.

When I provide great knowledge that helps someone gain peace in their lives, a client, for example, that tastes their first green juice and hires me to help them set up their kitchen for a plant-based diet, seeing their radiance and peace gives me a boost right back.

I am building a business as a plant-based Lifestyle Consultant. So while I would still provide free information, it does mean that in an attempt to spread the word faster, I am on various pages and in various circles, trying to build my practice.

Sometimes we step out in faith, in love and give.  And sometimes, rather than feeling that love right back, we reach out in love to others and it backfricken fires.  But it’s all good.  You are still a value add and somebody still admires and loves you, just not those people.

Watch for affirmations!  I do not believe in accidents.  I don’t know all the whys and what nots, but I do take things to be clues as to which way, for my future, should I now move?  Hit with such insult and anger, I was dejected, hurt and re-thinking my reasons for being a lifestyle consultant.  Maybe I should just rescue animals instead of people, animals are far more emotionally intelligent and  grateful.  So I walked my dog and this neighbor who was not on Nextdoor, who didn’t read my post and didn’t know I was a plant based lifestyle consultant, came out of her house and began discussing the very things I had just posted the other day!  Then she handed me the article from the Wall Street Journal about it!  Coincidence?  I don’t believe in such!

Perhaps I’ll stay at this work a little while longer.

By the way, if you are seeking peace, yoga & meditation cannot be beat.  I highly recommend this book.  I read alot of books and pass them forward.  This is one I hold on to and refer to often.  Baron Baptiste trained my original yoga trainer and I love his style.  Baron’s book, 40 Days To Personal Revolution, is filled with great information.

Namaste

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