Monthly Archives: December 2016

Emotional Rescue

Stress & Kindness

Stress – While it cannot be avoided, please do all that you can to minimise it in your life. I am learning how stress literally kills right now. Sometimes we encounter people who really need to step out of their own way, they confuse the issues, make resolution harder than it has to be, perhaps they’re not always mindful before acting, speaking or typing. Maybe sometimes that is us, because sometimes, we all just lose it. These are all self-sabotaging behaviours, which typically manifest during stress. I cannot over-emphasise yoga for stress management. Even going once a week will provide you great benefits over time. You will learn breathwork, breathing techniques that increase lung capacity but also will aid as a cue for you when needed. You will also learn amazing self-control! My PM work was very enjoyable for me, overall. But, there were times when the typical length of the day was too much or a person or situation was. Let calm rule you. It’s perfectly ok to step inside and shut the door of a break-out room and primal scream if you must. I needed to do this just the once in 26 years there, and over a completely unrealistic situation I had been placed in, that I could not get myself out of. But I never lost my cool in front of the group. To share this story a bit further, in case is resonates with and helps you, I had been placed on a new team of people who, while I had been there, fully vetted and known to be an excellent PM, these particular people never had worked with me before. The work-load, and the folks on this project made the situation untenable. There were layoffs and stress was exceedingly high. I resolved to be kind. It was all that I could do. When insults flew, I was kind. Someone actually asked if I was stupid. In meetings with the folks I supported, they would ask me to provide status to the team, then immediately proceed to talk over me. Team-mates I worked directly with on this project from hell, came in unshowered; there was no time for cleanliness. Some folks did not keep working as hard on their personal time as I did and were let go; it was considered their fault. It was never that there was far too much work on everyone’s plate. People in the situation causing unnecessary chaos weren’t managed down. A team-mate lost 4 of their molars, due to stress, grinding the teeth. Molars are forever gone once gone. There were divorces born of this time and illness. My mother was going through Chemo and Radiation. I could not be there for her during the daily commutes to radiation so I found rides for her to treatment by way of the Cancer Society volunteers. And I worked 7 days a week, all holidays and 12+ hour days for over a year being kind. It was bloody hard being kind, but I maintained kindness in every email, every sentence out of my mouth. This act was the only one, other than of course getting my work done, that I had any control over. I had no control over how others chose to think, feel or act toward me, but I did have control over myself and how I visibly reacted to it, as well as pursuant actions.

The Kindness Effort – In an effort to help spread kindness and minimise the onslaught of completely unnecessary emails (I was getting 400-800 a day) I placed the query: Is it helpful, is it necessary, is it kind into my signature line. In an effort to manage down my hours, I also noted my hours too (7a-4p). These things did not always sink in with others, but it did help me focus on what was fair and what I could perhaps let go of.  In all my years there, I had never taken 2 weeks off together at once before, but I was breaking apart and knew I needed to go on holiday. An individual who was hostile, took over my base while I went out for 1 full week of training followed directly by 2 weeks of vacation. I was hoping for a friendly to take on my base but hostile spoke right up demanding my base. I didn’t know what was going to hit me when I returned, but I had to have the break. This was in 2007 and I was laid off in 2016. This was the epicentre of unbearable pain, unbearable odds. When I returned to work, there was a new level of respect given, eyes opened to exactly what was going on in my base, with my portion of this project our team had taken on. Every product was ordered correctly. Every communication accurate and current. My work was found to be flawless and on track. I assumed I would be laid off, but suddenly things got immensely better for me.

This too shall pass – I assumed I would be laid off, but suddenly things got immensely better for me.  Whether it is work, family or personality driven, all of us experience stressful times. Know that if managed correctly, these times should be temporary. IF they are longer in term, there is a management issue somewhere. My takeaway from this time of fire is twofold: 1) always act in kindness, never lose your cool in front of people. Right or wrong, folks will always remember your wig out if you have a double geared hissy fit in front of them. You don’t want that visual following you around later. You also don’t want to be known as cruel, snarky, or unstable, no matter how much you feel justified at that moment in time, so be kind. This doesn’t mean you don’t protect yourself and stand up for yourself, where you can, but do so in a way that is ‘professional’ and offered in kindness. 2) Document Everything – I have been a documentation specialist for decades now, but this situation really brought home the need for managing by fact not emotion and retaining a documentation trail on everything. At the end of the day, it will be kindness, composure and a level head, followed by all the backup docs you’ve culled, that wins the day.  And It will ultimately shine the light of truth on anyone intentionally doing you harm.  As it turned out, I lasted longer and stronger and was able to get out and off that project and team simply because my work took center stage and my kindness became part of that great reputation.

Check out this book, Dare To Be Kind by Lizzie Velasquez.  You may have seen her on Youtube as the worlds ugliest woman.  Rather than let it cripple her, she took charge and became a motivational speaker. Sometimes we all need a push to go from zero to hero, but that push always starts with us.

Yours in kindness.  😉

Health & Wellness

Veganism & Protein Etc.

There are some things I hear repeatedly by people when I tell them I am mostly vegan, a bit vegetarian (no milk but some cheese) and focused on raw food. Because we’ve all been taught that for protein, we need dairy and meat, and most of us were brought up primarily on cooked and processed foods, we don’t think about the bioavailability of the vitamins, the minerals, the protein or that cooking anything above 118 Fahrenheit, cooks the enzymes out as well as much of the vitamins. This doesn’t always mean for you, that you must never eat cooked food again, or ever touch meat. What I am encouraging is for you to try segueing into a more plant-centric diet, and reduce the cooked foods so that at least 1/2 of your meals are raw. Buy only organic or wild produce, grow your own wherever possible and grow a variety of sprouts and eat them daily. Below is a link with great information and links to purchase some tested and reviewed by me sprouting options. Now, about protein – typical 4oz chicken breast has 28 grams of protein. Sprouted Lentils (4oz) have 25g. We are not living in the same world we had in the 1950’s. Our world is entirely polluted. It needs our help to reduce meat consumption because the land used causes soil erosion and the water used is wasteful. The feces, chemicals and all else utilised by factory farming methods is destroying our planet. Even if you do not care that the animals are mistreated, abused, sick, and very unhappy living unnaturally in cramped quarters, not allowed to be themselves at all, think about the unhappiness you are ingesting along with the chemicals and other crap given to the poor creature. It is not a healthy way for any and all concerned. So if you eat meat, go organic, do your level best to buy meat from more humane sources and reduce consumption to 2 days per week or one day. My husband and I had ‘meat friday’ a few years back where that was our one day each week to enjoy a nice steak etc. Now I let him eat the steak knowing I am causing less harm to others and myself. I have been on this track since February, reducing/eliminating sugars, meat, dairy, growing my own sprouts and I fit far better in my clothes and people keep telling me my skin tone is fabulous and that I have lost weight. But I can tell you that I have gotten healthier, stronger, more resilient.

Health & Wellness

The Toxic Come On

This morning I padded down to my office and found an email advertising a link for IT Cosmetics.  Clicking on the link, they had a before and after picture of a lady with and without the makeup and a very easy to navigate way to add product to your cart and check out.  Not one place explained how the ingredients worked or what the ingredients were.  Of course I wrote them personally.  I find our bombardment of toxic stew, with more chemicals created annually, and the cosmetic industry (as well as Government oversight etc) an embarrassment to our intelligence.  We are the only species that actively destroys itself, lies about it, pretends to be a friend when really we have an end game not in your best interest and all for the feeling we have somehow gotten the upper hand, we have reached into your wallet!  How ridiculous and how mean.

Everybody wants your money.  In fact, I also want some of your money; I write this blog, I rep for a certified organic skin, home and body care line  https://www.miessence.com/puretemple/en/category/1/skincare
and what I do here in this blog is review products where I include helpful links for you, but also, when you purchase from one of my links, I get a tiny commission.  You don’t pay more, but I get rewarded for providing you impetus to purchase something.    I began this blog, this mission, along with my own personal journey toward detox.  There was so much I didn’t know and as I learned, I wanted a place to share knowledge.  There are ways to get glowing and gorgeous, to beautify your home, polish the floor or table-tops, wash your clothes and avoid toxins in the process.  Much of my learning came by trial and error, observation and finally by sinking thousands into official training.  My aim is to help us all detox by learning and understanding how and what to avoid and look for, as well as provide products I know work well and are free of as much crap as possible.

Going clean is a process.  Don’t beat yourself up about this, just take your baby steps and keep going, keep getting better at it.  Believe me, I have purchased what I thought was an ‘organic’ eye or hand cream, only to find it had PEG or Triclosan or some shit in it that’s bad for you.

What I write about and review here, I have vetted. The Miessence products are all certified organic and are terrific products with yummy planty smells.  I personally am a cosmetic whore, I am not entirely true to any one line.  I like to try new stuff and have my old stand-bys.  So assuming you are the same way, I encourage you to search for things where you get full disclosure on ingredients.  Don’t buy anything that doesn’t provide this, that is a red flag.

And I learned very recently that while I have always preferred natural fibre clothing, it is really far more important than I ever knew before.  The skin absorbs 60% of what it comes into contact with. The finishes and toxins are all over the place.  Polyester is made from the petroleum industry and is toxic.  Synthetic fibers over heat the body which can lead to tumors.  For conventionally grown cotton, One third of a pound of pesticides and chemical fertilizers go into growing just one non-organic T-shirt.  Then there are bleaches, dyes and finishes. Sadly, most of the chemicals remain throughout the life of the garment, wash after wash and end up in a landfill later.

If you find you have alot of bad stuff in your life, clear your closets, and medicine cabinets and start fresh.  Post comments on how your life has changed, any progress your health makes, I’d love to hear about it.  I am also here for any questions you have too.

Peace.

Emotional Rescue

Re-gaining Balance For Peace & Healing


This book, Meditations on Intention and Being, by Rolf Gates, is a great book to help bring peace, thought and mindfulness to your daily life.

Imbalance – Our world is in chaos, from air, water and soil pollution, the growing need for more, from money to things,  to how governments protect corporate interests rather than the people who created it (and allow it to still be).  We give up our power, become complacent in what is rather than what should be, what can be.

A great example of on this topic was our 2016  election, I watched, mouth agape, as people voted out of fear rather than voting for who they really wanted in office.  I heard things like “Jill Stein will never win” for example.   I know this election was a hot mess and I wanted Jill personally because she didn’t have a bunch of weeds she was coming in with, and her platform was about what, to my mind, matters the most; our earth, saving it, getting corporations out of bed with Government, being  kind, ethical and fair to all people and animals.   But I am not here to argue party, I am here to make a comment on what I witnessed.   I heard this comment made from several people I knew that really wanted Stein in office.  So why didn’t they vote for her then?  Because she wouldn’t win was the answer back to my question.

I have been called pompous, naïve and stupid over this but I am going to say this once more:  When we make a choice NOT to do something, NOT to vote where our heart is on anything that really matters to us, we are NOT doing right by ourselves and further we, by that act, that inaction, make it so!

Politics aside, apply what I just said to anything you choose.  It can be going vegan or eating less meat, working out more etc.  It can be about anything you really want badly that somehow, you feel you don’t deserve enough. We over think things and lose it in the process.  We have got to make the choice to make it so.  To effect change, we must choose it.    From the top down, we are no longer balanced.

The good news is that we can still shape ourselves and our family and friends by what we choose to model, how we choose to live each and every day.   Many of us do not fully grasp our imbalances until injury occurs.  Yoga is fabulous for helping to awaken mindfulness to the imbalances all of us have, finding what side of our body (and brain) are dominate, adjusting ourselves so that we don’t grasp the hands or cross the legs exactly the same each time or to simply be aware that in the similarity of a pose, each day we are different in it.

Yoga is not just for stick figures or the super flexible, my friends, I am a robust individual and do yoga regularly.  Whatever your size or shape, yoga unequivocally is for you.  You just need to find the right form, and always honor your body.  Growing up, I learned to fight with my body rather than embrace it, which is silly when you think about it, but that is what most of us do.  We are never happy and thankful for long with what our shape is or age is or anything, always picking at the imperfection.  Give yourself love and compassion and space and time to heal.  Do this for you because you matter.  When you come from a place of strength, you can share that strength with others and help life them up too.

The holidays (holy days) are divine markers of time, place holders for not only what they represent, but to allow a moment of pause in our earthly pursuits.  Each holiday pushes us toward a new year as the old one is closing out and the New Year is unfolding before us.  Not everybody is excited about this.  But I ask, what really are the alternatives?  I must age, therefore, I celebrate my birthdays!  Why the hell not?  Does it not beat the alternative of 6 feet under?  Celebrate your life and time here.  Enjoy these small moments of time and joy, whether that is a page of meditation on the book suggested above, sitting by the fire on a cool evening with friends or hanging out with your cat.  You being here right now is a miracle.

Be Blessed.

Shopping & Gift Ideas

Gift Giving For the Vegan Or Wanna Be Vegan

Many people are getting hip to incorporating more natural foods into their diet and learning to be mindful of toxins in skincare, clothing and household products.

This holiday season, give the gift of pure potent certified organic skin, home and body care.  The link to my website for Miessence products is below.
miessence.com/puretemple/en/category/1/skincare

Or if you have a loved one that could use assistance with plant-based diet best practices, setting up their kitchen and tutorial to sprout and juice and eat healthy, purchase a 2-hour session with me.  You can be a vegan and still eat junk food and even if you are trying to eat healthfully, there are ways to juice and supplement to provide

My website here is full of healthy tips, recipes and information.  But sometimes you need personal guidance.  As a Plant-Based Health Consultant, that is what I am here for.  You can be a vegan and still eat junk food and even if you are trying to eat healthfully, there are ways to juice and supplement to provide you the best nutrition.