Walking onset every morning of your life to applause is great. You take your bow for breathing that morning and smile for the happy adoring minions and life is good. Perhaps those adoring crowds are filled with your beloved family members, your cat, dog or significant other or you enter the workplace a hero on that day. All this is good drama. But a lot of us self-sabotage by co-creating negative dramatics because we don’t even realize on a conscious level that we are doing this! Welcome to your personal wake up call. It’s here, right now and yes, you so please don’t hit snooze, but share to anyone you believe needs to hear this message today. Pay the day forward in that kindness.
Creating negative drama is a learned behavior. We learn from parents, from relatives and from cash-strapped friends growing up. I remember being in my 20’s, working 5 and 6 jobs concurrently and always feeling the stress of paying the rent and whether there would be food to eat that week. Whenever we live in a situation that causes us to logically truly really worry over things, this habit becomes formed of worry and of creating the drama over and over again. The difference is that this drama can shift as we grow from oh, God, where’s my next meal coming from, to drama with other aspects such as our personal life and friends. In other words, if we are not mindful, we can actively co-create drama where there need not be any at all.
We may devalue ourselves, our worth by choosing folks around us that bring us down, who don’t have our best interest in their heart. We may become impulsive and purchase things that financially cause strain. We may endanger ourselves with negative relationships by blindly trusting, giving too much of ourselves away too soon to a stranger. You may have had someone in your life that was very controlling, that you never pleased. This can set the stage for you to personally feel at a very deep level that you are never enough. And no matter who you had in your life that was positive, having a parent who you can never please is far more than a buzz kill; it can set you up with a lifelong disability. I know from my own personal Mommy Dearest.
Rather than just be a walking statistic or think there is something intrinsically wrong with you, know that each of us is here for specific reasons and that whatever work you do in life, you are the only individual on the planet that can bring you to the task. Do so with humbleness, awe and pride. It matters not whether you are a writer, pick up trash, heal people or manage a project. Give yourself to the task as only you can. Do work that resonates with your soul, work that is in line with your ethics because otherwise, the job will kill you. Even a temporary job can align in some way with your long-term goals and ethics. not everything is forever but your soul is.
All of us are walking wounded in some way no matter who you encounter. The goal is to be kind and mindful of this while honoring your own goals and value. You can be kind without being a patsy. Never mistake kindness for weakness. People do this all of the time. It takes amazing strength to be kind, particularly in the face of cruelty, and I really believe this is what God meant when he said the meek shall inherit the earth. Being kind does not, however, mean allowing anyone to trample over your personal boundaries. You can step back and observe any situation and diplomatically address what works and what doesn’t for yourself.
Look for the re-runs on that show you just watched. If you have a scene, somebody cheats on you or otherwise uses you, or you find yourself losing another job in a fairly short succession, you notice that stuff keeps playing out for you the same or similar? Ahem, then the common denominator is you. You are co- creating the situation by setting the stage perfectly to have the very same negativity take place in your life. This could be to fix a bad family dynamic, overcoming drug addiction, but it is a strong signal that you need to take a step back and work on you. Get some self help and heal my friend. There is no shame in being a bit tweaked, we all are. The shame is in continuing to blame others and refuse to look in the mirror and make the necessary changes. Now, you may say, ‘but the person at work went off the rails or my spouses always end up abusive and it’s not me, it’s them. My friends always betray me so they are the ones to blame.’ Here is the rock bottom of this: YOU chose to have these people in your life. If they are a parent, then you are choosing to continue that relationship, knowing full on well it is a toxic one. People tell you who they are in the first 10 minutes…if you are really listening. It’s true!
You cannot change the way someone else thinks, feels or acts, but you do have control over yourself, how you choose to think, feel and act. You can re-program your thinking any time you like because 30 days makes a new habit! This is not about entitlement, being overly proud of who you are and what you deserve, it is about being real with yourself, your goals and honoring why you are here. All of us deserve peace and support along our journey. It can be so very easy to get down into the fray at times with negative people saying ugly things. These are people who truly don’t deserve you, don’t deserve your time or your presence so make an exit away from high negative drama wherever you see it being repeated. The world can be harsh so wherever feasible, surround yourself with things and people and places which uplift you, bring joy and camaraderie and cater to calm.
Recommended books, just click on the hi-lite.d text for the link :
Choosing Peace: New Ways to Communicate to Reduce Stress, Create Connection, and Resolve Conflict (Mediate Your Life: A Guide to Removing Barriers to Communication Book 1)
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