Dreams get squished in the most amazing ways if we are not careful. In school, I was a gymnast and ran track. I ran faster than anybody in my school in any grade. Every year I won the Presidents Physical Fitness award and in my 20’s I ran 5 or so miles daily at the nice UTD track in Richardson. After repeated comments on the track about my ‘great pace’ I was clocked doing 4 minute miles. I did not realize until in my 50’s, in sharing memories with a friend who absolutely refused to believe my 4 minute mile story, stating that it just was not possible, that it was actually something perhaps rare and special.
My family never made any big deal out of my physical abilities. Instead, my mother took me along with her to fat spas to help me lose weight that I didn’t have to lose at the time. Where is she now when I need this? In grade school a teacher talked to my adopted mother about putting me in a special music program because of my voice. Mother asked me to sing for her and when I did, she smiled and explained that while my song was pretty, there would always be someone better. No matter how I did in anything, there was always someone better. Thusly, I have spent my life downplaying how good I might be at my job or anything else and always questioning my validity. I learned after meeting my birth family, several years ago, that music runs in the blood, as does athleticism, with most of the men being fire chiefs and my aunt being a professional singer. Try hard not to get your dreams squished. Even if you never find out why, trust that they are there for reasons that you need to pursue.