Whether you crashed before getting the job done, as my cat Tiger did here in this photo, or knocked it all out beautifully but still didn’t get credit, we’ve all been there. You feel like you failed and not just yourself but everybody else involved in your life perhaps. How do you climb back out of the doldrums? A friend reached out to me earlier because they were just fired after working diligently for the last 6 years. Whether you lost a client, lost a project or lost your job, it sucks to be you right now. But please understand this is temporary and you are going to move onward and upward to something far better! It’s just time for some re-tooling.
An Opportunity in Failing
Whatever your fail, know that failing provides us new growth opportunities. Find some quiet time to sort through what happened and your part in what took place. Taking ownership for any actions on your part that landed you in the fail zone just helps you learn and do better next time. If you look back and see that you did everything flawlessly but still things went awry, then you are just in the wrong situation. Perhaps a change of people, circumstances or organizations is in order.
Drama can be very addictive. Before long, you just live drama and believe it’s normal but it is not. What is normal is peace at your center. Daily, we tell others how we want to be treated by what we accept. Who you were last year, last week or even last minute may not be who you are right now because we all have that amazing power to grow and change. We may not control others, but we sure can control how we think, feel and act. And we can reset our boundaries that range anyplace from what we work for on an hourly basis to who is at the forefront of our lives, who sits balcony row and who is curbside.
Take Control of Chaos
The first step to minimizing drama is reducing chaos. Clear clutter, clean your home, your car out, maintain your stuff. When you look around at a clean car, a clean home with things you love that are clearly well cared for, that has a strong impact on you and that impact hits every time you cross the threshold, grab a drink and sit on the sofa. Make your spaces inviting to you. This conveys pride in a healthy way and will help boost your self-worth if that is flagging.
Finding Your Super Power
Analyze the past for wins and losses but don’t get too hung up on your history of fails. Instead, try to focus on your history of wins. What are the intrinsic qualities you possess that became the catalyst in all of these successes? I’ll give you an example from my life. I have a tenacity coupled with a strong grasp of what is right and what is wrong or fairness. I once accepted a position that turned out to be very different than what I thought. I quickly realized that, no, actually I did not have the knowledge base I truly thought I had to be in the position I now found myself in. I called upon my super powers. In spite of fear, not knowing the buzzwords, the work, the tools, I was tenacious and I had a strong desire to get it done for my client and get it done right and timely. I wowed management, and most importantly, the customer, and I learned a whole lot.
Reallocating Your Super Power
So now that you know what your super power is or super powers are, looks for ways you can take those skills and re-apply them elsewhere in your life for a win.
Mentors and Good People
Surround yourself with people who care about you and are a positive influence. When you have suffered a failure, the last thing you need is a Debbie Downer telling you how life is cruel. True, life is a mean thang sometimes, to be sure, but it is also filled to the brim with glorious fabulousness. Hanging with the right crowd will help you bounce back faster.
Job Loss Help – If you’ve recently been laid off or fired, I’ve included helpful links below but while you sort through all of the stages of grief, and some all over the map feelings, know that there are reasons for everything, even if we don’t yet know why they happened.